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The Mindful Life's avatar

This suggests that it truly is a moment to moment wise attention to the roots of the mind-stream, making space and non-attachment when bitter roots are drawing water - careful not to give their precipitates credence, and then watering and nurturing the sweet roots when they draw water to precipitate fruit.

The four fold instruction, attenuating arisen unskillful states (non-attachment/involvement/identification, patience with their dissipation), removing conditions for unarisen unskillful states (noting conditions precipitating previously arisen unskillful states and being mindful of when they recur), nurturing arisen skillful states (savoring the good), cultivating conditions for unarisen skillful states (Silence, Nature, Gratitude, Beauty, Sangha etc...)

Corina Stoicescu's avatar

Thank you for that reminder, Beth, about wise friendship being the best way to water our roots. I wish it wasn’t true. I wish I could just give and give and it would make all relationships better. This week in the States it is the Thanksgiving holiday and Christmas is coming soon…and more family time. Sometimes it’s hard to identify wise friendship. I wished all my biological family could be wise friendship that waters my roots. I started there first but I’ve had to distinguish between biological family and dhamma family. Sometimes, there’s overlap.

One thing that’s helped identify wise friendship is the effect after I give. If I give and they are better and I feel more nourished, then it’s a good match. If not, then it’s a mismatch between the ripeness of our understanding, between our seasons so to speak. I can’t water a baby tree and expect fruit. It has to mature. And I only have so much water. But when it’s a good match, my not so perfect water will still be helpful and and their fruit won’t be perfect, but it will still be nourishing enough and hopefully we can help each other get better bit by bit.

The one exception for me has been interacting with children and animals. They always seem to be wise friendship. I have three cats and they each started out so scared and not willing to share with me. But I gave them love and they gave me a little back and it just kept growing until we trust each other so much now that we look to each other when we want to fill our bucket. We blossom just being near each other.

Adult humans….well, that takes a little more investigation. I feel your pain. I’ve been a tree before with my fruit all gone and but my roots dry and dying. I had to find better caretakers. Thank you for the Patthana introduction.

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